Posts Tagged ‘family’

Dear reader:
There are times that I wish I could go back in time to change something. Not that I am unhappy with my current life, or that I would rather it was different; just that I would rather have made a different choice here or there. Then I think about it more and wonder how things would be different if one choice had been different. For instance: If I went back in time and met my grandfather as a young man, that might seem small and insignificant. However, if my meeting him interfered with him meeting my grandmother, that would have drastic effects. Ultimately this is the ending of my thought process and I go on to more important things, like feeding the kids or some household chore that needs done.
I think everyone finds that at one time or another they pine for days passed. When looking at an old yearbook, reading old love letters or even after running into an old friend. They wish to relive those days and feel how they felt back then. This sort of escapism is the thing of daydreams and science fiction films. It is what causes people to think they can act like they did when they were younger. That is why we have 45 year old women chasing 18 year old boys and 50 year old men looking for 18 year old girls. They want to feel young again. They buy hot rods and motorcycles, go on road trips and try to pick up where they left off in college.
The simple fact, however, is you can’t go back. Time is linear, plain and simple. You may have seen these children on TV that look like old people; this is a disease and it is real. Have you ever seen someone with a disease that makes a 90 year old man look like a 15 year old? If you have seen Brad Pitt’s movie ‘The curious case of Benjamin Button’ then yes you have; but this was fictional. The honest truth is that time only moves forward.
While when we are doing something, in the act and the moment, we may not be able to see clearly the consequences of our actions. We all have done things that if we had stopped for even a second to think about it, we would not have done it. Thankfully hindsight is 20/20 and the past is a powerful teacher. We can look back and see where we went wrong and change it. Sometimes all it takes is a small epiphany; other times it takes God getting in our face and opening our eyes. For some people this is a very powerful thing. It can mean going from a life of depravity, idolatry and perverseness to a life of purity, loyalty and spirituality.
I have a friend who used to be quite the ladies man. He didn’t worry to much about consequences or even if his actions where remotely justified. He drank when he wanted, smoked pot and was willing to try whatever he was offered. He bounced from woman to woman, not caring who he hurt or what the outcome would be. I was tired of being around him and his lifestyle so I parted ways with him. This was several years ago. Just recently I was talking to a mutual friend of ours and asked if they knew what had become of him. She told me that a couple of years back he almost OD’d and wound up in the hospital. This ended up being a life changing event and now he counsels young men who were just like he was. My friend to me that she was glad he was ok, and glad that he finally found religion. I told her I hoped she was wrong, and that I hoped instead that he found a relationship.
You see, religion is the cause of many of today’s problems. Religion was the cause of the inquisition. It was the cause of the pilgrim’s plight and it was the cause of the Salem witch trials. Religion is an intolerable tangled web of piety, lies and exclusion. It is why we have denominations. Spirituality is closer to what we should have because it is more accepting and less prone to exclusion and hatred. What we should be aiming for, however is a relationship; a relationship with our God. In this day and age the term “god” has so many meanings. Buddha, Ali, Jesus are all seen as gods, and everyone thinks their beliefs are the right one. I’m not talking about that today. I am not in the toe-stepping mood right now. All I am saying is that a relationship is the most important thing to have; with everyone; your family, your friends, your ‘god’ and your spouse. No matter who they are, if they are important to your life then you need to have a relationship with them. Focus on the people you have now, not the people you used to have; although I hope that many of the friend you used to have, you still do have. You can still have all that fun you remembered back then, with the friends you have now.
After all, as a wise man once said “He who has friends is rich” and in this recession, I’ll take all the lasting riches I can get.

Now..go and live.