Posts Tagged ‘TFK’

War Of Change

Posted: January 8, 2013 in Life
Tags: , , ,

“It’s a truth that in love and war, World’s collide and hearts get broken, I want to live like I know I’m dying, Take up my cross, not be afraid” – TFK

I feel lately i need to step it up. i was so daring in my youth but time and broken hearts have changed that. I need to change again. I need to take a step off the ledge and trust that the outcome will be ok.

I’ve been mountain climbing, white water rafting down the mighty Colorado river. jumped from heights and gone under water. All this before the age of 21. Now, married and a father, i have lost my gall. the worst risk i take anymore is reaching my hand into  the sink to grab a knife.

I know that with fatherhood comes a degree of responsibilities but i don’t want my kids to be afraid either. i want them to be able to climb a mountain and stand on top and watch the sunrise over the desert. I want them to look back at their old man and say “he inspired me to do this and to be all i could possibly be.” and be proud. Hell, i want my wife to sleep sound a night knowing that if need be, i can take care of whatever may attack.

because they will come; attacks. and if i don’t stand up to the danger and face my fears then what am i? I have always been afraid of heights. my whole life. but at the age of 18 i face my fear, climbed a mountain and rappelled back down. I am afraid of public speaking but i have been told by so many that i could help people, if only i could overcome this fear. Fear drives us, i think. It gives us the ability to become more than what we are.

or less.

i think its up to us…up to me to stand on my feet and face my fears with courage and cahones. Test my mettle and all that jazz. 2013 will be the year of change for me. No more spineless interaction. damn the opinions and screw the fears.

“There’s a war going on inside of me tonight (don’t be afraid) Wait, it’s just about to break, its more than I can take, Everything’s about to change, I feel it in my veins, its not going away, Everything’s about to change,”